The Power of the Pause: At WIS we are "dealing with feeling" in a fast-paced era

What we feel, and what we do with those feelings, matters for everything we do here at school. That is why on Tuesday, several teachers and the leadership team tuned into the NEASC Podcast "The Power of Emotional Regulation to Transform Schools", with Dr Marc Brackett of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

Dr Brackett's key message is that Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a foundational part of how schools should operate and help people learn, grow, and succeed. 

1. Emotions are fundamental to learning and life

Brackett argues that emotions influence attention, decision-making, relationships, health, and academic success — so schools must teach students and adults how to understand and manage emotions, not ignore them. 

Emotions are automatic, biological and psychological responses to what’s happening around and within us (changes in physiology, thoughts, impulses to act).

Feelings are how we interpret and label those emotional experiences.

Emotions happen to us; feelings are our awareness and naming of those emotions. So, for example:

-- Your heart rate increases and your thoughts race before a presentation → that’s part of the emotion.

-- When you identify it and say, “I feel anxious” → that’s the feeling.

In Permission to Feel, Brackett emphasizes that as humans we are generally bad at labeling feelings precisely — and that building a nuanced emotional vocabulary is essential for regulation and wellbeing. 

2. Emotional intelligence can and should be taught

Brackett and his team have developed a RULER approach (Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions) which is designed to improve emotional intelligence. Their research has shown that increased emotional intelligence in schools results in positive effects on school climate, reduction of bullying and burnout, and a boost in academic outcomes. 

3. The power to pause: adults must lead by example

Brackett emphasizes that teachers and school leaders need their own emotional learning first — the adults’ emotional intelligence shapes classroom culture and students’ ability to learn these skills. 

When adults are equipped to RULER their emotions, then we can co-regulate our students and children to help them positively handle feelings as well. We have to "name it to tame it"!

4. Giving people “permission to feel” matters

A core theme of Brackett's book Permission to Feel and his talks is that emotions are not good or bad. They aren't obstacles to success. Rather, they are information to be understood and used wisely. This means it's important to encourage open, curious, non-judgmental discussions about feelings in schools and at home.

At WIS, we're in the business of building good humans. Our shared understanding of high quality learning captures how we do this: 

When we work together and independently in a safe, caring environment, we can recognise each person’s place in the story of our shared planet. Through ongoing dialogue and actionable feedback, we develop the knowledge and skills needed to create a better future.

So the next time I ask you "how are you feeling today?", take a moment to pause between that stimulus and response, and consider: "How am I really feeling?" And what will I do about it? This is a skill which can be developed. The ability to positively regulate emotion is contagious, and we are all learning how to be emotionally intelligent, together.

"Is there an App for that?" 

While it might be ironic to use an app to help us identify, understand, and positively regulate feelings in our fast-paced AI era, Dr Brackett and his team have developed a free app which I have personally enjoyed using: https://howwefeel.org/ 

The app uses a "mood meter" chart, below, which is categorised according to low to high energy on the Y-Axis and "unpleasant" to "pleasant" feelings on the X-axis. Regardless of what you're feeling as you read this article, Viktor Frankl's quote reminds us that we have the power to pause between that stimulus and our response. At WIS, we are building the skill of understanding, labelling, and managing feelings in ways that support learning and relationships. 

So how are you feeling today?

- Ethan Van Drunen